Hung

I'm a mess of contradictions: my head and heart are heavy, yet completely void of resolve, of stamina or intent.  I have so much to say, but I can't begin to put it down; I'm not entirely sure of myself.  I want to shake off what's been and start fresh, but I feel a foreknowledge of guilt and shame, enough to stop me in my tracks.  I'm a method actor living a handful of imaginary lives, none of which resemble what I thought my life would be.  My heart is filled with longing and deflated by loneliness.  Conventional wisdom says, "Listen to your heart," but what if my heart is lying to me?

Subject to Change

"Hey, Sam, let's be old cat ladies together...but with books."

Where to Now?

Italy sounds nice...

A Tragedy in One Act

ACT 1

Scene 1

Afternoon, a suburban shopping plaza, the Saturday before Labor Day.  Bright overhead lighting.  Small, shed-like building stands at L.  Shed has two sliding windows with a menu posted between.  Neon sign reads: "SnoBiz" above the windows.  R. stands a deck structure with built-in benches along the perimeter.  Partial shade roof covers benches R. of C.  Two young men sit on either side of a young woman.  All three are eating artificially colored/flavored, shaved ice from Styrofoam cups, with white plastic spoons.  Conversation borders on gossip, centering on recent and upcoming marriages.

REBECCA: (Putting spoon down.)  I still can't get over the fact that Lindsey's getting married, like, next week.
ROB: Friday.  She's getting married this Friday.
REBECCA: (With genuine surprise.) WHOA!  Crazy.  (Pause.)  Tim, that could've been you.
TIM: (Scoffs.)  Yeah, right.  Have you met the guy, Rob?
ROB: Yeah.  He's really frat-y.  And he's kind of racist.  Like, he just tells really immature, slightly racist jokes.
REBECCA: (Shaking head.)  So weird...  We should crash it, Tim.
TIM: (Laughing.)  Yeah, I'll show up and they'll stop the wedding and make me the groom.  (Turning to ROB.)  How'd you get to be an usher anyway?
ROB:  (Looking indignant.)  I have no idea!  I haven't talked to Lindsey in months.  Sarah was actually the one who told me to rent a tux.  So I better be an usher because I paid a shit-load for it!
TIM:  (Laughing with genuine good-natured amusement.)  Are you taking your "girlfriend"?  How the hell are you going to get through the wedding?  Or the reception!
ROB: Huh, no!  She's crazy.  And she's not my girlfriend...It's going to be awful.  But Joe and I are going to split the cost of a hotel room so we can drink before and after the ceremony.  I'm going to be shit-faced the whole time.  I don't have the emotional tools to deal with it otherwise.
REBECCA and TIM: (Excessive laughter.)
(A group of five or six teenagers enter the deck area.  Three girls are wearing collegiate wear--Southeast Missouri State University, Lindenwood University, University of Missouri-Columbia, respectively--one boy is wearing a mesh hat with a splattered paint motif and a black T-shirt reading, "LET'S FUCKING PARTY")
REBECCA, ROB, and TIM: (Each discreetly surveys the new group of patrons.)
ROB: (Whispering to REBECCA)  Do you feel really old all of a sudden?
REBECCA: Yeah.  Maybe we should have met at a bar...

CURTAIN

Scene 2

The three 20-somethings stand in the parking lot backstage of L.  Each is holding a set of car keys.  ROB dons sunglasses.  REBECCA spins her car keys around on one finger.  TIM shifts from foot to foot.  Players are situated at least two feet apart from each other.

TIM: Well.  It's been fun.
REBECCA and ROB: Yeah.
ROB: We should do this more often.
REBECCA: Yeah.  We all live in the same town now, so we might as well.
(Momentary silence.)
REBECCA: (Awkwardly.) I'm so bad at staying in touch with people, even in the same zip code.
ROB: (Sighing with relief.)  Me too!  I'm always busy with work, and there's nothing to do around here.
(All agree.)
ROB:  Yeah, O'Fallon is about the worst place for people our age.  It's great when you're a kid and all...and when you're retired...but that's about it.  (With gravity.)  It's a great place to raise a family and a great place to get old...
REBECCA:  Exactly.  What a wasteland.
(Contemplative silence.)
TIM:  Well, good luck at the wedding, Rob.  And let me know how the subbing goes.
ROB: Thanks.
REBECCA: I will.
REBECCA, ROB, and TIM: (Simultaneously and between hugs.)  Bye.  Good to see 'ya.  Let's do this again soon.  (All walk in different directions, casting backward glances and waving good-byes.)

FADE OUT AND CURTAIN

Happy October

I feel fine. In fact, I feel pretty damn good. Hot in the cold, loose in the crowd; I'm ready to go.  It's the first day of my favorite month, and the highway is opened up in front of me.  Oh, and I'm a long haired child.



Shoo-bop, shoo-ba